Feeling Down...

I’m down….really down. The feeling is pretty awful. I feel like what to hide somewhere and escape to a place where no one knows me, escape from the reality of life. Every night I wonder how I could face tomorrow, how could I put on a brave and happy face accepting the challenges ahead. I have lost my appetite, I have lost my sleep, I guess I have lost myself.

Now I’m looking towards next week holiday for recovery, just somewhere I could find a peace of mind, somewhere no one knows me, somewhere secretive.

I never know I am weak in accepting changes, I thought I would be the happy one, but the pain is unbearable, it hurts till the heart, I guess I am human after all.

If only I think less, if only I am stupid a bit, if only I am not aware of what is happening around then I guess the impact is not that huge. If only… I am who I thought I should be… happier.

Hmm.. hope I feel better after bursting this out. Hopefully it eases the pain a bit. Was feeling like something stuck on my throat and not able to get it out, until I force myself to vomit out everything inside.

Please don’t ask me what happen, do not feel like sharing it at the moment. 8 days left for me to be momentarily invisible.