Some Spoken Malaysian English Is Laughable

Lately I was researching for a good dining place and Victoria Station was one of my preferred options. 

Not knowing how’s the food and service like, I went to check to ask around.

 

AsX: What do you think of Victoria Station at Prai? Good or not?

Chinese Guy: Not bad, actually pretty good. I rate it same as the Sh*t.

AsX:  Sh*t? That’s bad. But how come you say it’s good? Is there such a thing as good sh*t?

Chinese Guy: No, no, not that sh*t.

AsX: Huh?

Chinese Guy: You know? The sh*t… emmm.. let me spell… S. H. I. P!

 

I finally understood what he was trying to say. It’s this place!

 

Luckily he was not a salesman selling car for Cath. If so, Cath might now be driving a Honda ‘Sh*tty’ (City)!

 

Some people have difficulty pronouncing some English word, even successfully people like my boss’s boss’s boss’s boss. This was usually the fun thing that kept me interested in a boring meeting or department update – spotting his mispronounced English word. For some, I would just count how many ‘Emm’ or ‘Okay’ in his words or speech.

 

I ever encountered a person asking me to go to ‘Cigarette’ Recipe to buy cake for someone’s birthday when I later realized that it was Secret Recipe.

I heard from friends regarding a joke on an accident caused by bread. The guy was driving his car when suddenly his passenger screamed out “BREAD!!!” when he saw a cat crossing the road. He meant brake. The driver did not stop his car on time because he was trying to search for a bakery shop instead.

 

I also had some pronunciation difficulties but just minor one. I remembered seeing Cannas's and Cath's confused face when I said ‘envylope’ when I meant envelope.

 

For now, the main problem with me is not mispronunciation. I kept saying Victoria’s Secret instead of Victoria Station. Too much porn for me?